Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Those days...the good, the bad, and the ugly

This last week has been a roller coaster, I have been the horrible mother, the wonderful mother, and the mother who just doesn't want to do anything! Let me explain...
I was/ am the horrible mother because I quit Weston on night time feedings! He was not sleeping through the night, waking up 2-3 or 4 times to nurse... well I think he just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep without having my boob in his mouth. He is 8 months old, he does not need to be eating anymore through the night. He should be sleeping through the night. That doesn't sound so bad right? Well you should have heard him crying...well screaming for his mommy. I felt so horrible when I had to let him cry it out. The first couple nights I would go in there and try to calm him down, rock him, hold him, and kiss him. He would fall asleep and as soon as I put him down he would start crying again. I just had to walk away! It's so heartbreaking to just leave your baby in his bed to cry himself to sleep. I just wanted to go back in there and hold him all night, but I knew in order for him to learn that he can put himself back to sleep he had to cry himself back to bed. I knew in order for me to ever get a full nights rest I would have to let him cry himself to sleep. So nights are so much better now, he will wake up once a night, moan or cry a couple times and then he is back to sleep! When he wakes up at 5 or 6 am thats when he gets to eat, then we go back to sleep till 7-7:30.
I am the wonderful mother, because I buy my daughter new shirts (that say "My brother is a grouch", "Vampire in Training", and "Spongebob Smartypants") I let her play dress up in just about everything she owns (as soon as we wake up) So she is eating breakfast in her Snow White dress. She sings to me "I love my mommy, she is the best mommy" This makes me feel...wonderful, jubilant, and on top of the world!! I think to myself, along with the heartache and crazy days, being a mom is the best job I have ever had. You know what I mean if you are a mother. You have good days, you have bad days...and you had the down right ugly days! But its all worth it! I look back at the years I have been a mother, those are some of the best years of my life. Watching my babies grow up. Teaching them, loving them... It is just AWESOME!!
Back to where I started...
The mother who just doesn't want to do anything...we all have those days, where we just want to relax and not worry about the house work, the laundry, or what were going to make for dinner...it is a rare occasion but there are "those days". My day was Mother's Day. I was sick...I didn't want to do anything...Thankfully it was Mother's Day...I had my husband and he cooked breakfast for me, did the dishes, helped tremendously with the kids, because not only was I not feeling well, but the kids were sick as well. He even went out and did the yard work (getting rid of the weeds so we can plant a garden!) He made lunch and dinner as well. He was such an amazing help to me that day, I am so thankful he was there.
Thankfully the next day I was just fine, because my little man was throwing up and having major bowel movements! :)

4 comments:

Chelsea Robbins said...

it's hard to get them to sleep through the night-it's a taught thing, and for teaching him how to sleep you're a wonderful mother, even if you feel horrible for letting him cry. It's really hard though especially when you know that you can go in there and make the tears stop in an instant! It's heart breaking-I remember just sitting in the living room staring at the monitor wiht Dustin just waiting for the crying to stop!

They're getting so big!

Deann Sturgiss said...

I know, it's something I have to do. But so hard as well!!

The Perkins Gang said...

Holy smokes--last time I saw you you were just barely expecting and now he's six months!?!?! Congrats--it's nice to see pic's and know you guys are doing good!! The blond hair is cute, too--you are so brave!

Deann Sturgiss said...

he is actually almost 9 months!! He was born Aug 23rd! How time flies!! I hope you are well!!!